Why change and personal responsibility belong together.

How can you actually change something?

When you think about your life and how your life is going, do you feel satisfied? Or do you feel trapped in a repetitive everyday life? Do you perhaps talk to other people or listen to them as they tell you that you can create the life you want to live and the person you want to be? You may be wondering if there is any truth to the statement that you are responsible for what your life looks like and you can influence its direction. This may be the hardest part of it, but change is actually an opportunity that you are responsible for. This is the reason why change and personal responsibility belong together.

There is no one who will create your life. There may be coincidences that sometimes seem to give you direction, but ultimately it is you who decides which way you want to go and how you want to behave. If you are completely satisfied with your personality, you have done a good job. But perhaps there are also personal characteristics that you would like to change.

I'll give you an example that shows that it can work with a certain amount of personal responsibility:

You have a reserved character, you like to be around people, but you are not the kind of person who openly says what you like and what you think. Most of the time, others are louder and quicker to explain their thoughts and you subordinate yourself to these people and opinions. If you then have a quiet moment, for example when you come home from work, you realise that you actually think differently. You are annoyed with yourself for not saying anything because you fear the reaction of others.

The good news is that you can definitely change this behaviour. Determine the things that are important to you and should be part of your life. What do you think about these things? Experience will show you in which life situations you were happy and when you were not. What worked together and what didn't? You can draw your own conclusions from this. If you really want to change, you can do so. By adapting your behaviour. You can start with small changes and see how it feels for you.

How can you really change something?

In my example, you could start by speaking your mind in a familiar environment, with your family or friends. Decide for yourself in advance what you want to get out of this conversation and then dare to speak your honest opinion out loud and confidently. Now comes the interesting part, you will see a reaction from the person you are talking to. He or she may be surprised because they didn't expect your behaviour, but this reaction usually doesn't reflect their opinion. Your mind will learn from it and take it as a good experience. Even if the person you are talking to has a different opinion, you will feel relieved because you have shared your point of view this time. There is nothing to regret afterwards. At some point, your mind will remember this and see this action as normality.

There is a solution - combine your willingness to change with personal responsibility

You can train your mind like a muscle. I liked the chapter in the book Individuation* very much liked it. New experiences overwrite old fears or actions. This results in a positive cycle: the goals lead to a change in behavior, the changed behavior influences self-perception, and the changed self-concept in turn causes further changes in behavior. It is important to set realistic goals, otherwise things will go in the other direction. Try simple actions you've always wanted to change. The advice is to track these changes over 21 days, training your muscle every day. It can also be helpful to incorporate this into your daily routine, at the same time and place every day. You have to try out what suits you best. After the 21 days you will notice whether the change feels good and whether you want to keep it. As I said at the beginning: If you are doing well and are happy the way you are, there is no reason to change anything. But if the pressure of suffering becomes too great or the curiosity for change grows, there is the possibility of changing your personality. That's really good news, don't you think? Remember that change and self-responsibility go together, now is the time to start.

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